Epilogue

When I died in my chair so ‘long ago’ I experienced the trip through the tunnel, memories and the light at the end of the tunnel and then I vanished into thin air and disappeared. There was total tranquility, total stillness, not the slightest movement, no thought. It was like nothing.
When I came back to life there was a movement in my chest, like an energy flowing light and without any force, a lighting went through my brain and my mind came very clear and my first thought was, there was nothing, yet there was life, that is truth and that is me.

I had vanished into nothing and when I came back I experienced myself as nothing and that as truth and life. Plain, simple and true.

And then and there my view of life was totally changed, so I started writing down how the world, with all its variety, appeared to me

In all that process there was a foundation, a base that repeated itself again and again in my writing. Some people call it the vacuum but I gave it the name 'nothing and sometimes it for that’s what 'it' is, 'nothing'. Nothing containing everything. Everything comes from nothing.

We can’t understand or know 'it'. I tried to create a simple image of it for myself, separate it into 'nothing', truth, love, life, the moment, the universe and us and I thought by gathering it back together in one I would have a clearer view of it, some kind of understanding.
But it can’t be taken apart, put together again, understood, bought or sold. 'Nothing' is. It’s not here, not like this, it just is.
We have great problems understanding 'nothing', for we always try to make some kind of image of it and then it has become something. 'Nothing is and can not be something.

We understand everything, for we think of everything we have and then we have gathered it all in one place. And even though we know it’s much more than we already know we limit it, restrict it, to our own knowledge and let that be enough.

And then we start interpreting the moment, love, truth, life, universe, planets, earth, ourselves and other life forms, all which was created in nothing and is in nothing in the one and the same moment.
In my eyes it’s very obvious that everything comes from nothing, both what I am and can think of or imagine and that which I know nothing about, have no understanding of and can’t imagine.

Everything has its origin in nothing. It could not be any other way. Not one after another, but all at the same time. Here and now. Totally.

We say, the moment is the only reality for the past is gone and therefore does not exist anymore and the future is not here and therefore can only exist as an ideas or longings. We also say, truth is life and then, we are truth and life. And we end by saying all this is the vacuum, the 'nothing'.

But we have difficulty understanding and accepting the 'nothing'. To experience everything as 'nothing', that all is created from 'nothing' and to be 'nothing' is as incomprehensible to our minds as the idea endless.

We say, the world is endless and at the same time we try to create and imagine how endless looks like. But it’s obvious there can be no image of endless. Image is and end and if we create an end what is beyond the end? If we create an image of that what then is beyond that? And so on.

The same applies to nothing. We can’t imagine nothing for imagining is something.
And that is exactly what we do. We don’t accept reality as nothing, ourselves as nothing so we create something. No matter what.

The moment as nothing is just as incomprehensible. We have difficulty imagining the moment without past and future. We were children once and are now grownups and we have lived through all kinds of things and will probable live many more, at least our death.

Many start creating an idea of a row of moments. Now at this moment I’m writing those words and that’s one reality, then I stop doing that and by that it doesn’t exist anymore, I go and get something to eat and then that is the only reality, then I go shopping and that becomes the only reality. One moment and then another moment and yet another moment. We have great problems letting go of all our ideas and live the moment, the 'nothing'. Really see the moment, the 'nothing' for what it is. Without all.

The moment is not a row of happenings, moments. The moment means, I have never been and will never become, which equals I am.

The fact that I am here and now, equals that all mine is here and now, not before and not later. But here and now in this moment is it all. I am.
That means we are being born and are dying at the same time and everything there between. Everything is in the same moment.
We can in fact know all our existence from the beginning to the end if we want to, for it’s all in the moment. We are in fact both alive and dead, children and grownups, happy and sad, secure and frightened. All our existence is happening at the same time. We are all in the same moment. Here and now. Can’t we feel its energy, its force?

We might think with that our freedom is gone, everything happens at the same time so our existence has already been decided. Everything happens at once so it can’t be changed. I can see where I am in the moment, almost sixty years old and then the past has already molded the rest of my live.

It would be right if we could only be in one place in the moment at one time, but not alive in it all at the same time. If that was the case the moment would be limited to past, future and me and then be very limited. But that’s not the case.

We are in fact constantly changing the moment, filling the moment, living in all ages in the same moment.

And not only the individual but the whole universe. In the chapter We want to be gods I say,

Exactly at this moment, while you read those words, people all over the world are doing something. Some are on their way to work and others on their way home from work. Some are going to sleep while others are waking up. People are being born and others are dying. Some are born into poverty while others enjoy wealth. Some die from diseases while other die of old age, are killed or die from hunger.
Australians are welcoming summer while the Nordic nations are welcoming winter. The earth spins around itself on its journey through space like millions of other planets, suns and stars in innumerable galaxies.
This is not happening one after another, but all at the same time. It’s all happening now, at this very moment.
(ih 91)

We understand this article for it is about the mass, all kinds of people all over the world doing all kinds of things. But if we change the view and turn it onto ourselves then we and everything are alive in the 'nothing' at the same moment.

'Nothing' contains everything, not only my little I or your little I, but all, in the same moment, also freedom to change, what and where ever we choose in the moment, no matter what we call it.

And at the exact moment we leave everything and stand aware in the moment all is complete. All the fragments we have been dealing with unite in one, and God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. (Genesis 1, 31). That is an incredible moment and at the same time simple and right. 'It' is all there is. Nothing else.
I am.


ih/07