118. Who am I?

At one time or another most human’s come to the question, who am I.. And people go to various places to seek the answer. Some got to faith or various religions, Christianity, Islam and Buddhism. Faith leads them to lay there lives in gods hands in one or another form.
Others got to theosophy and some kind of mystic. Discover meditation, learn to get closer to the all mighty through still mind and learn all kinds of exercises to still their mind. And so on and so on.

Many let that be enough. The delusion fulfills their need for importance so they never go any further.
Others find out that this is not enough. No matter where they go and what they do or not it doesn’t help. There is always something missing.

Why are they not content? Why does all their effort not help them? Why can’t they find this they are seeking?
The reason is very simple. There is no I out there to do all kinds of things. No I to lay itself in the hands off god, no I to stop thoughts.
The I is a delusion. An image. It is an idea built up from experience and knowledge. The same idea we have of each others. Of everything. That’s all.

We can just look around us, at our family and other fellow men to see this image creation. We are not the same in the eyes of everybody. We are not the same in the mind of our spouse as the mind of our children, friends or others. Why? We can try to convince ourselves and others that we don’t treat all the same. That people get to know a different side of us. And for that reason we are not the same to them all. But that’s not true. Our spouse gets to know us with our children and our children know us with other people. Why then aren’t we the same in all their minds?

Isn’t because each person creates his image according to his communication with us?
Each person takes the words and actions of others and creates an image accordingly. We become funny, bossy, nice, smart and stupid, or what ever people can think of to name the image. The image is always created from and according to the ideas and knowledge of the creator and has therefore nothing to do with us. The image reflects the one who creates it.

But our image making is not only of others but also ourselves. We are images in our own minds. And in our mind the image has got the name I. It’s I who is obedient, I who is bossy, I who seek answers, I who trust in god and I who practice meditation. Always I.

If we examine ourselves, our existence, we can easily see that all we have experienced, read and learned has molded into an image we call I.
This image making starts right at birth.. We are taught from the start that we are like this and that. We are to be good, obedient and efficient and we are not to be selfish, envious and boastful. We are to be positive not negative, and so on and so on. And around all we are and are not we create an image which we give the name I.

When we get older we see that this is not accurate. We are not like this or that, not at all like we have been made to believe. And then instead of rejecting all ideas about ourselves we create a new image, our own image of ourselves. And we create it from our experiences, reading and learning.

The method is mostly the same for us all. We read or see a touching story or a movie that calls tears to our eyes and we are sensitive. We take on a difficult task and do it well and we are smart. We get offended and happy and become something. Always something. And from that our I grows until it’s so large it rules over all our existence. We truly believe there is an I there, some center wherefrom we see all, I and pain, I and the feeling, I and life, something with its own existence independent of the body.
The I which is in fact built up from our experience and learning has taken first place. And all our existence spins around its needs, our whole existence is about fulfilling its needs. But the I has no reality. It’s a fact that the I is a thought, build up from our experience and learning, all we can find in our memory. The I is an old memory. That’s all.

Why don’t we let go of the image? The I? What can we do?
Each of us has to examine him- and herself. We peal of the world we have built around our existence. Peale it of layer by layer until there is nothing left but the core, whether it’s something or nothing.
But we have to be careful. We may not judge what we see as good or bad. We may not say, yes, that’s how it is, or no I don’t want that. Because as soon as we judge we are strengthening the I. We may only examine. Nothing else.

We can start with our nearest and dearest. What do we really know about them? We can have a look at our parents, spouse and children. See how they are nothing but images in our minds. We know in fact nothing about them, only our ideas about them. And like that we peal of our world, our family, believes, opinions, ideas and faith. Everything. Also the I. We can’t leave anything behind.

We have all heard talk about many ways or paths to truth. That the ways are many but all end in the same place. This is not right. There is no way or path to truth. We can’t get to truth. Truth can come to us. Arise within us. And that happens the same way for all humans at all times. When all has been examined we let go of it. There is no method, nothing we can read or learn, it’s only something we do. We just let go of the idea. And when everything is gone truth arises within us.

But we should know there is no reward for leaving everything. No price. We don’t become something. Enlightened. We don’t find something. God. To leave all is nothing other than the word says. When all is gone there is nothing. Then we are nothing. That is truth, which is life, which is we. That’s all.

But at the same time we may know that to be nothing is total freedom. He who is nothing has nothing to loose, neither importance, belongings, material or spiritual. He fears nothing. And he who fears nothing is in peace with himself and everybody as well as everything else. To be nothing is peace.