Inga Helgadóttir's blog ^pro

I’m going to let one chapter from Faith be enough, it says all needed to be said.

The first chapter in the part Hope is the Red chalice an even though I used it as background or prehistory in What am I? I will use it again now since it plaid such a big part in all that happened.
Please remember that eeverything I wrote in this part of the book is from my so called ‘past life’ which was filled with misbelieve and other delusions, and all from the years 1986 to 1989.

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The red chalice

I woke up; opened my eyes and stared into the dark. Something had awakened me, something was moving in my bedroom but I could not see anything. It was a dark night. Everything was still and quiet.
Suddenly I saw hands come out of the dark. They were holding some kind of cup or chalice, a red chalice. There was a light around the hands but I could not see the owner in the dark. I was not afraid.
What is this, I asked.
This is from your God, someone answered, with a male voice. It was a very deep and calm voice.
When the hands came nearer I tried to look into the chalice, I saw some kind of energy moving in there. But before I could have a closer look the hands had put the chalice right inside the middle of my body. I was very surprised.
Energy started flowing inside my body. It went in some kind of circulation from the middle and all over my body and filled me with the strangest feeling of joy. The energy grew little by little until it had reached its highest level then it started fading away again.
Wow, I said when the energy flow had stopped; there is a lot of energy in such a small chalice.
As soon as I had said that the energy flow started all over again. I was very still and did not ask any questions. This happened three times and then it was over.
I just lay still in my bed not knowing what this had been and why. And I still don’t know, not really.

It was a cold and dark night. There was peace and quiet in the room where i sat with a book in my arm, this large book that had so often been the reason of quarrel, dispute and division between people. And which had given so many the believe that the all mighty, which some people called God, was some kind of dot far away that waited for us to do something wrong so he could punish us and send to the darkest of darkness. It is called the Bible. I had never red it before, I had learned about Christianity in school but had never red the book itself.
Still I had my faith and my god. But my god was not a dot in the distance. He was everywhere, filled with love for all his children, also those so called ‘bad’. I sometimes felt they needed it no less than others.
Even though I didn’t agree with the all mighty, all the time and sometimes told him so I was still sure he knew better in the long run.
I had red the book from the beginning and was determent to finish it. It was strange how the words sometimes fitted to my mind and gave me something I could not put into words. But sometimes they were just empty words.
I opened the book where I had ended last time. I started reading but found the words were just words.
The story told about a master who went out early in the morning to hire workers for his vineyard. Some of the workers had worked all day long while others had just worked for a short time when the day was over. And the pay was the same for all.
I could not agree to it. This had to be some misunderstanding. It didn’t fit to my idea of justice. He who had written this had misunderstood something. I was somewhat angry. I knew this was a story I should not take literally, but I could not accept it. I could only see it one way and didn’t like it. I closed the book and decided to read no more for now.

I went to bed and sent my thoughts, disappointment and protest to the all mighty. Even though I knew I would never be able to accept everything in the book. I fell asleep with those thoughts on my mind.

When I woke up the next morning and looked outside I saw it had snowed all night. People were outside shoveling the snow from their cars so they could get to work. I didn’t want to go out and shovel but I knew it would be my job to shovel all the snow from the house. I looked at all the white snow over everything. It was beautiful and peaceful sight.
At noon I finely went outside to shovel the snow away from the house. It had obviously snowed all night so it would take me a while. When I started two small boys came with their shovels and helped me. It was easier when we were three on the job. And soon more helping hands came along. We were about to finish when the last helping hands came and finished the job with us.
I was Content with myself and all those young people that had helped me.
I smiled to them and said what about going the store. We deserve something for all this work, soda and sweets for us all.
One of the children looked at me with big beautiful eyes and said, will everybody get the same.

I felt like somebody touched me and heard a voice in my head say, well my dear, what is your answer. Will everybody get the same reword?
I smiled to the child and answered, yes everyone will get the same reword.

I sat down on one of the snow piles when I had given my coworkers their reword. To say I was happy didn’t describe my feeling at this moment. There was no doubt in my mind that all this snow had fallen so one small human could understand what was bothering him.
Of course we will all get the same pay at the end. It would not make any difference how long we had lived or how great our work had been. The reword would be the same for all. At the same time I knew how this would sound in others ears so I decided to keep it for myself. But the next time I would have to shovel thee snow from my house I would be happy to do so hoping that now someone else was learning that he didn’t understand.

When I died in my chair so ‘long ago’ I experienced the trip through the tunnel, memories and the light at the end of the tunnel and then I vanished into thin air and disappeared. There was total tranquility, total stillness, not the slightest movement, no thought. It was like nothing.
When I came back to life there was a movement in my chest, like an energy flowing light and without any force, a lighting went through my brain and my mind came very clear and my first thought was, there was nothing, yet there was life, that is truth and that is me.

I had vanished into nothing and when I came back I experienced myself as nothing and that as truth and life. Plain, simple and true.

And then and there my view of life was totally changed, so I started writing down how the world, with all its variety, appeared to me

In all that process there was a foundation, a base that repeated itself again and again in my writing. Some people call it the vacuum but I gave it the name 'nothing and sometimes it for that’s what 'it' is, 'nothing'. Nothing containing everything. Everything comes from nothing.

We can’t understand or know 'it'. I tried to create a simple image of it for myself, separate it into 'nothing', truth, love, life, the moment, the universe and us and I thought by gathering it back together in one I would have a clearer view of it, some kind of understanding.
But it can’t be taken apart, put together again, understood, bought or sold. 'Nothing' is. It’s not here, not like this, it just is.
We have great problems understanding 'nothing', for we always try to make some kind of image of it and then it has become something. 'Nothing is and can not be something.

We understand everything, for we think of everything we have and then we have gathered it all in one place. And even though we know it’s much more than we already know we limit it, restrict it, to our own knowledge and let that be enough.

And then we start interpreting the moment, love, truth, life, universe, planets, earth, ourselves and other life forms, all which was created in nothing and is in nothing in the one and the same moment.
In my eyes it’s very obvious that everything comes from nothing, both what I am and can think of or imagine and that which I know nothing about, have no understanding of and can’t imagine.

Everything has its origin in nothing. It could not be any other way. Not one after another, but all at the same time. Here and now. Totally.

We say, the moment is the only reality for the past is gone and therefore does not exist anymore and the future is not here and therefore can only exist as an ideas or longings. We also say, truth is life and then, we are truth and life. And we end by saying all this is the vacuum, the 'nothing'.

But we have difficulty understanding and accepting the 'nothing'. To experience everything as 'nothing', that all is created from 'nothing' and to be 'nothing' is as incomprehensible to our minds as the idea endless.

We say, the world is endless and at the same time we try to create and imagine how endless looks like. But it’s obvious there can be no image of endless. Image is and end and if we create an end what is beyond the end? If we create an image of that what then is beyond that? And so on.

The same applies to nothing. We can’t imagine nothing for imagining is something.
And that is exactly what we do. We don’t accept reality as nothing, ourselves as nothing so we create something. No matter what.

The moment as nothing is just as incomprehensible. We have difficulty imagining the moment without past and future. We were children once and are now grownups and we have lived through all kinds of things and will probable live many more, at least our death.

Many start creating an idea of a row of moments. Now at this moment I’m writing those words and that’s one reality, then I stop doing that and by that it doesn’t exist anymore, I go and get something to eat and then that is the only reality, then I go shopping and that becomes the only reality. One moment and then another moment and yet another moment. We have great problems letting go of all our ideas and live the moment, the 'nothing'. Really see the moment, the 'nothing' for what it is. Without all.

The moment is not a row of happenings, moments. The moment means, I have never been and will never become, which equals I am.

The fact that I am here and now, equals that all mine is here and now, not before and not later. But here and now in this moment is it all. I am.
That means we are being born and are dying at the same time and everything there between. Everything is in the same moment.
We can in fact know all our existence from the beginning to the end if we want to, for it’s all in the moment. We are in fact both alive and dead, children and grownups, happy and sad, secure and frightened. All our existence is happening at the same time. We are all in the same moment. Here and now. Can’t we feel its energy, its force?

We might think with that our freedom is gone, everything happens at the same time so our existence has already been decided. Everything happens at once so it can’t be changed. I can see where I am in the moment, almost sixty years old and then the past has already molded the rest of my live.

It would be right if we could only be in one place in the moment at one time, but not alive in it all at the same time. If that was the case the moment would be limited to past, future and me and then be very limited. But that’s not the case.

We are in fact constantly changing the moment, filling the moment, living in all ages in the same moment.

And not only the individual but the whole universe. In the chapter We want to be gods I say,

Exactly at this moment, while you read those words, people all over the world are doing something. Some are on their way to work and others on their way home from work. Some are going to sleep while others are waking up. People are being born and others are dying. Some are born into poverty while others enjoy wealth. Some die from diseases while other die of old age, are killed or die from hunger.
Australians are welcoming summer while the Nordic nations are welcoming winter. The earth spins around itself on its journey through space like millions of other planets, suns and stars in innumerable galaxies.
This is not happening one after another, but all at the same time. It’s all happening now, at this very moment.
(ih 91)

We understand this article for it is about the mass, all kinds of people all over the world doing all kinds of things. But if we change the view and turn it onto ourselves then we and everything are alive in the 'nothing' at the same moment.

'Nothing' contains everything, not only my little I or your little I, but all, in the same moment, also freedom to change, what and where ever we choose in the moment, no matter what we call it.

And at the exact moment we leave everything and stand aware in the moment all is complete. All the fragments we have been dealing with unite in one, and God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. (Genesis 1, 31). That is an incredible moment and at the same time simple and right. 'It' is all there is. Nothing else.
I am.


ih/07

At one time or another most human’s come to the question, who am I.. And people go to various places to seek the answer. Some got to faith or various religions, Christianity, Islam and Buddhism. Faith leads them to lay there lives in gods hands in one or another form.
Others got to theosophy and some kind of mystic. Discover meditation, learn to get closer to the all mighty through still mind and learn all kinds of exercises to still their mind. And so on and so on.

Many let that be enough. The delusion fulfills their need for importance so they never go any further.
Others find out that this is not enough. No matter where they go and what they do or not it doesn’t help. There is always something missing.

Why are they not content? Why does all their effort not help them? Why can’t they find this they are seeking?
The reason is very simple. There is no I out there to do all kinds of things. No I to lay itself in the hands off god, no I to stop thoughts.
The I is a delusion. An image. It is an idea built up from experience and knowledge. The same idea we have of each others. Of everything. That’s all.

We can just look around us, at our family and other fellow men to see this image creation. We are not the same in the eyes of everybody. We are not the same in the mind of our spouse as the mind of our children, friends or others. Why? We can try to convince ourselves and others that we don’t treat all the same. That people get to know a different side of us. And for that reason we are not the same to them all. But that’s not true. Our spouse gets to know us with our children and our children know us with other people. Why then aren’t we the same in all their minds?

Isn’t because each person creates his image according to his communication with us?
Each person takes the words and actions of others and creates an image accordingly. We become funny, bossy, nice, smart and stupid, or what ever people can think of to name the image. The image is always created from and according to the ideas and knowledge of the creator and has therefore nothing to do with us. The image reflects the one who creates it.

But our image making is not only of others but also ourselves. We are images in our own minds. And in our mind the image has got the name I. It’s I who is obedient, I who is bossy, I who seek answers, I who trust in god and I who practice meditation. Always I.

If we examine ourselves, our existence, we can easily see that all we have experienced, read and learned has molded into an image we call I.
This image making starts right at birth.. We are taught from the start that we are like this and that. We are to be good, obedient and efficient and we are not to be selfish, envious and boastful. We are to be positive not negative, and so on and so on. And around all we are and are not we create an image which we give the name I.

When we get older we see that this is not accurate. We are not like this or that, not at all like we have been made to believe. And then instead of rejecting all ideas about ourselves we create a new image, our own image of ourselves. And we create it from our experiences, reading and learning.

The method is mostly the same for us all. We read or see a touching story or a movie that calls tears to our eyes and we are sensitive. We take on a difficult task and do it well and we are smart. We get offended and happy and become something. Always something. And from that our I grows until it’s so large it rules over all our existence. We truly believe there is an I there, some center wherefrom we see all, I and pain, I and the feeling, I and life, something with its own existence independent of the body.
The I which is in fact built up from our experience and learning has taken first place. And all our existence spins around its needs, our whole existence is about fulfilling its needs. But the I has no reality. It’s a fact that the I is a thought, build up from our experience and learning, all we can find in our memory. The I is an old memory. That’s all.

Why don’t we let go of the image? The I? What can we do?
Each of us has to examine him- and herself. We peal of the world we have built around our existence. Peale it of layer by layer until there is nothing left but the core, whether it’s something or nothing.
But we have to be careful. We may not judge what we see as good or bad. We may not say, yes, that’s how it is, or no I don’t want that. Because as soon as we judge we are strengthening the I. We may only examine. Nothing else.

We can start with our nearest and dearest. What do we really know about them? We can have a look at our parents, spouse and children. See how they are nothing but images in our minds. We know in fact nothing about them, only our ideas about them. And like that we peal of our world, our family, believes, opinions, ideas and faith. Everything. Also the I. We can’t leave anything behind.

We have all heard talk about many ways or paths to truth. That the ways are many but all end in the same place. This is not right. There is no way or path to truth. We can’t get to truth. Truth can come to us. Arise within us. And that happens the same way for all humans at all times. When all has been examined we let go of it. There is no method, nothing we can read or learn, it’s only something we do. We just let go of the idea. And when everything is gone truth arises within us.

But we should know there is no reward for leaving everything. No price. We don’t become something. Enlightened. We don’t find something. God. To leave all is nothing other than the word says. When all is gone there is nothing. Then we are nothing. That is truth, which is life, which is we. That’s all.

But at the same time we may know that to be nothing is total freedom. He who is nothing has nothing to loose, neither importance, belongings, material or spiritual. He fears nothing. And he who fears nothing is in peace with himself and everybody as well as everything else. To be nothing is peace.

A vice man once said that knowledge was a true opinion and another that it had its roots in thought. Icelandic dictionary Menningarsjóðs from 1963 says that knowledge is understanding, to know, and also intelligence. All those explanations are in itself alright as such but they are just other words for knowledge and don’t say anything about what knowledge is. The question, what is knowledge still stands?

Knowledge is collected supply or provisions of everything we have see, heard, read and tried and is stored in the brains memory. Knowledge is therefore an old memory.

Sometimes the knowledge is our and sometimes it belongs to somebody else. It can bee visual, hearing and action, one at a time ands sometimes all at the same time.
We see our surroundings, people or other and create an image of it in our minds, sometimes we hear someone explain what we see which then makes influence on the image we create. We get various experiences which is stored in our memory. And we gather knowledge from magazines and books. We store all this knowledge in our brains memory to call out and use when needed.

Knowledge can be of many kinds. Through books we get various an useful knowledge about how to build houses and bridges, also about various sickness and cure for it and so on and so on. Specialists such as psychoanalysts, sociologists and philosophizes tell us about the lives, behavior and thoughts of humans. Mediums and people with others supernatural abilities tell as about elves and other supernatural beings. Prejudice is one form of knowledge, where researches are used to increase difference between people. Or haven’t we heard that the white race is better than other, and that men are above women. Ore as Paul said, women should be quiet. (1 Tim. 2:11)

We then share all our knowledge with our fellow man. We write it down for others to use as curriculum, for teaching, to calculate all kind of researches and so on and so on.
We don’t let our own time be enough, for like our ancestors gave the knowledge to us verbally and through various books we give it the same way to the next generation. The heritance from the old to the young.

But why do we want to know? Gather knowledge? What is it within us that is always asking questions? Seeking answers?

That which encourages our search for knowledge is fear of being nothing. And we fear it because to know nothing is to be nothing.

There are two kinds of knowledge, superficial knowledge, to know with ones head, and deeper knowledge, to know with all our being.
When the knowledge is in our heads, we hear, see and read something we can quote but has no deeper meaning in our lives. It’s I who know. The knowledge is unreal. Dead.
When the knowledge is with all our being, it is part of us which we maybe can’t talk about or explain to others, just live. I am the knowledge. The knowledge is real. Alive.
In both cases is there an I present, on one hand as spectator, the one that sees, hears and reads and on the other hand as the one living the knowledge, and it makes no difference what kind of knowledge we are talking about.

To know something is to be something.
But like to know something is to be something to know nothing is to be nothing. And we fear nothing more than being invisible.
It’s I who knows and when there is no knowledge where is the I? Nowhere. The I is away. And we fear that more than anything.
To know nothing is to be nothing. And to be nothing is death. The end of the I. The end of all. Because the I is everything it can connect itself to. All our knowledge. The I can never be alone without everything. It can only be the center of our lives. I and everything I recognize, know.

Wisdom is not knowing all kind of things but to know nothing. For he who knows nothing has all potentials. As soon as he knows some or everything his potentials decrease accordingly. Therefore wisdom can only be to know nothing. Open for all possibilities. Constantly. To be. Here and now. Nothing else.

Can’t we feel how magnificent that is. Can’t we feel its power.

When the I is away the human stand alone and naked. Without all. Live. Nothing else.
Live is not something we know. We cant know live. We can only live it. Be it. All of it. Nothing left out.

Many people have wondered about the idea righteousness or justice. In her book The Murder at the Vicarage by Agatha Christie we can read something like this, ... they said when his time came he would get justice instead of grace, Justice can be horrifying. In his novel Iceland’s Bell (Íslandsklukkan), Halldór Laxness makes the farmer Jón Hreggviðsson say to Snæfrídur Íslandsól, bad is theirs wickedness, but worse their righteousness. And I ask, what is righteousness? And is it worse than wickedness?

When we perform wickedness we do it reluctantly, so we won’t get caught in the act.
When we on the other hand perform righteousness we are so sure of our good intention we give it all our force.
But we often forget that our righteousness is not necessarily others as well. So our righteousness can very well be wrong or wicked.

We often point what we see as righteousness against what we think is injustice or wickedness. Our righteousness has therefore to be strong to overcome the wrong. And God help those that get caught in the middle.

Righteousness can definitely be horrifying.

There is nothing new under the sun are words we often hear and speak. But do we realize how true they are. For there exists in fact nothing new.
Truth is the only reality. And for something new to be, the truth would have to have a beginning. But truth does not have a beginning.

Sure we can say the moment is constantly new. But it is in fact neither new nor old. The moment, as the truth, has no beginning.
Beginning and end implies time. And truth is not something that begins here and ends there. Truth is.

Time does in fact not exist. This idea is created by humans for humans to use. That’s all. Time, like so many other ideas, has no reality or real existence.
And if time has no real existence it is a delusion. This again equals that everything that includes time is also a delusion.

Everything that begins and ends is a delusion. Therefore there is nothing new under the sun.

We crave for love and caring. And we always seek it outside ourselves. We do something for others once in a while, look after their children, visit sick people and so on. We are so lovable, so caring, so helpful and for that we get acceptance, positive reaction from our surroundings. A small light to give us warmth. That’s all.
We get a small light that tickles our vanity for a while but gives no real warmth. And that which tickles our vanity is not real love or caring.

Why is it so hard to find true love?

That we crave and seek for is not outside us.

Truth is life. And life is us. All its love is therefore we. Love is not to be found anywhere else.

We can’t find love in favors to others, no matter what it is. We should know that if we give a helping hand for acceptance, for positive reaction, we are just serving our own vanity, our own ego. That’s all.

We can’t find love outside us. We have to discover it within us.

Each of us has to love him- or herself.
Not for what they are or do. But just because they are. To exist is enough.

And we should know that when we let love arise within us, we automatically give it out to our surroundings, to he world.

To love oneself is to love others.

Life is the creator of us all. Life is we, both as material or body and spirit. Therefore we can say our existence is the creation of life.
But we sometime forget that for life the wrapping or packaging is irrelevant. For life there is no why and what. Only that. To exist is enough. Therefore life gives us freedom to create everything about and around our own existence.

Life as a spirit is the creator of the material or body, which again is the creator of the existence, the world around us. And we don’t have to travel far to see how impotent and incapable the body is by itself, unconnected to the spirit.
Wars, Olympics games, hunger zone, beauty contest, poverty and wealth. Hate. Endless hate. Created by humans for humans.

Why doesn’t the body step aside and let the life as a spirit take over? So life can loosen all the conflict the body has created.

We have created a wall between the body and the spirit. Wall in the form of an image we call I.

The I knows it’s a creation of the brain. But its craving for importance, for eternity, is so strong it has put itself as a wall between the spirit and body.
The I has possessed the body as its own. That hinders the body to be a tool for the spirit and at the same time free of all problems.

Of we want to loosen all the mess around and within us, we have to loosen the grip of the I. Die the I.

The I is only an image in our mind. Built up from our experiences and knowledge we have gathered in our brain. The I is just an old memory. That’s all.
When we see what we have done, the reality of the I, it will loose its grip on us. The wall we fall down and life take over. And then I mean to see and understand all through, not only on the surface.

Then all the conflict around us and within us will vanish. Then we just are. Without a fight. In peace.

We can’t know whether life has some purpose or if there is life after death until after death.
We might therefore dismiss the matter just like that. We can’t know whether there is life after death equals we can’t know here and now. And there is nothing more to say about that. We have to wait.

But do we?

Wouldn’t it be better to ask what death is? What is death? How near to it can we come while still alive?

We know death is the loss of everything, relatives, friends, material belongings as well as spiritual. Everything vanishes with death. But do we have to leave this live, literally die, loose everything?

If the answer is yes then there is nothing more to say about that.

But if the answer is no, we can loose it all here and now, let go of all our belongings, of everything we have gathered in our lifetime. Then we have the answer to our question.

What will happen if we let go of everything here and now? Then the person is alone and naked. Life. Nothing else.

And truth is life and life is we. Everyhting. And all of it ours. All answers.

But each one has to do this for himself. Alone and without any help. Nobody can do this for others.

The answer everyone comes across is on the other hand the same for us all.

Do our surroundings exist outside us or within us? Do we make the image within us and send it out to out to the world or does the image come to us from our surroundings?

This question is in itself useless. It makes no difference wherefrom the image comes. Whether it comes from the outside and in or from within and out, our brain receives it and creates the ultimate image. The final image is always created in our minds. No matter wherefrom its material comes.

Our surroundings are therefore always an image in our minds. Our own idea. That’s all.

In the Bible, Romans 8:31 we can read those words, If God is for us, who can be against us? Those words are very interesting and well worth closer examining.

To understand those words we have first to answer the question what is god?

We talk of god as the creator of all. Of life and of us. Everything. We know there is life everywhere around us. Some kind of energy or force, that makes it possible for us to move, to act. Makes us alive.
We see that life is in everything. Nothing exists outside life. The live behind all images and at the same the image.
If live is for us and live is all there is then everything is for us. And if live is us how can it be against us.

The fact of the matter is that life is neither with us nor against us. It’s us. That’s all.

If we think of each person as a small dot, then thoughts, ideas, opinions and faith are within that dot. Everything we think is within us. Invisible.
When the person, the dot, puts the thoughts into words they are suddenly outside the person. As soon as we speak our thoughts out loud, or express them in some way, they are outside us. Visible.
That which was spiritual or mental activity within the dot is now material outside it.

But does it matter whether the word is within us or a reality out in the world?

Within us the thought is invisible and harmless. Like a beast locked up behind bars. It’s not until we speak the thought, whether with words or actions, it becomes visible and often harmful. The beast is loose.
Not necessarily because the words themselves hurt, but because we accept them an make the hurtful to ourselves as well as others. There are few words to be found amongst humans that have not, in one or another way, damaged someone or something.

All words are in fact harmless by themselves and then it makes no difference whether we call them blame or praise. Mean words don’t hurt by themselves, nor do good word give pleasure but what we do with them when they are pointed at us.
We take the words, have a look at them, interpret them, judge them and then become happy or angry according to circumstances and by that damaging ourselves. And it makes no difference whether we judge the words good or bad. Good and bad are one and the same.

Why do we use words this way? Why don’t we find it enough for the words to live as a spirit or mentality within us or a matter out in the world? What drives us to make them into good or bad?

Fear. The reason we judge our own and others words is the fear of being nothing. Invisible.  It’s because of fear we don’t keep the words within us, but let them go out to the world as words or action. We dare not be nothing. Invisible. Yet we are just that.   Nothing.
In our core we are nothing. The same nothing that contains everything. A spirit within the matter. Life. Can’t we see it’s magnificent.

To be nothing is peace. And where there is peace words are unnecessary.

We often ask ourselves, what do we know and how do we know. And then we find out that we know in fact nothing but yet that. And at that moment we are trapped in knowing and at the same time not knowing.
It’s in itself interesting. But is it important. What difference does it make to know that we don’t know anything? None.

Is it not more interesting to understand what lies behind this question? Why do we want to know? What is it within us that is constantly asking questions? Seeking answers?
That which makes us want to know is the fear of knowing nothing. And we fear knowing nothing because knowing nothing is being nothing.

We might say there are two kinds of knowledge, to know in our heads and to know with all your being.
When the knowledge is in our heads, we hear, see and read something we can quote, but has no deeper meaning in our lives. It is I who knows. The knowledge is unreal. Dead.
When we know with our whole being the knowledge is a part of us which we perhaps can’t quote or tell others, only live it. There is no I who knows. Just knowledge. The knowledge is then real. Alive.
To know something is to be something.

But like knowing something is to be something, knowing nothing is to be nothing.

It’s a fact to know nothing is to be nothing. And we fear nothing more than being invisible.
It’s I who know. And if there is no knowledge where is the I? Nowhere. Then the I is nowhere to be found. And we fear that the most.
To know nothing is to be nothing. And to be nothings is death. The end of the I. The end of all.
For the I is all it can connect itself to. All it knows. The I can never stand alone by itself, without all. It can only be the center of our existence. I and everything we can think of.
When we know nothing we are nothing. And then I mean truly to know nothing. Really. All through. Not just superficially.

Can’t we feel how magnificent that is? Can’t we feel its force?

Can we not see that he who knows nothing has all possibilities? As soon as he knows just a little bit his potentials are gone.
When the I is away the human stands alone. Life. Nothing else.
Life is all there is. It’s not something we know. We can’t know life. We can only live it. Be it. And then all of it. Nothing left out.

The story tells how Gautama, in his search for truth, sat under a tree by the riverbank and meditated when a boat sailed by. In the boat were an old man and a young man plying a lyre. When the boat passed Gautama he could hear the old man say to the young man, if you expand the string to much it will brake and if it is to loose the lyre will not sound right. With those words the boat went its way, with the old man and the young musician, but behind was Gautama enlightened. By the words of the old man he awoke and saw that in his search he had gone from one extreme to another, from a kingdom and grate wealth to poverty and self-denial. And nothing had changed.

This story is very interesting. But not for the words of the old man and Gautama’s understanding of himself, but for the part most of us don’t notice, the part we think has no relevance in the story and therefore pass.

We read the story, look at the words, think we understand the old mans words and what they did for Gautama and we see this as the core of the story.
But is it the core of the story? Or are we missing something?

We can easily see that there is not main difference between wealth and poverty. And there is no reason to take that lightly. Good and bad are in fact one and the same, whether we choose one over the other changes nothing.
Good or bad is no solution. The solution is to let go of both. Stand outside and without all.
And that’s what Gautama had realized. He saw and understood.   And like so many, before and after him, he tried to tell this to others, to his fellow men. But for them his discovery was but hollow words. Beautiful and vice, but hollow. People didn’t understand what he was saying.

And there the story should end. But it doesn’t. It went on something like this, even though Gautama had seen how weak and useless his words were he decided he would still try to teach and enlighten his fellow men. Try to change the world. He gathered followers, disciples, who picked up peaces of wisdom from his lips, made a theory out of them and rules for them to follow. And before anyone knew the Buddhism was born.
To our days people have been picking up peaces here and there, seeing them as holy and making something of them. Always something.

But what is the minor point of the story we are missing?

If we have a closer look at the story we can see that the words of the old man changed Gautama’s life. They made Gautama to Buddha. They were the factor that made him famous for all this time.
But why was Buddha so famous? Those were not his words. Those were the words of an old man. Was it then not his wisdom? Why did the old man not become famous? What became of the old man?
That’s the answer to our question and the core of the story.
The old man spoke the words that needed to be spoken and then he went silently his way. Invisible.
Why did Buddha not do exactly that? Why have all the Buddha’s of this world, in the past and now, not done just that, whether they have had the names Gautama, Jesus, Mohamed, Krishnamurthy, John or Jane? We all.
Why don’t we just speak the words that need to be spoken and then go our way? Invisible. Like the old man did. Can’t we see the magnificence of that?

We can find the answer with all the leaders of faith, preachers and vice man of this world, both small and large, both in the past and now. For the answer is in all humans. Within all of us.
He who can’t speak the words that need to be spoken and then got quietly his way carries fear within him. The fear of being nothing. The fear of being invisible to his fellow men. Everybody.
The fear creates importance. It’s fear that makes us important, whether the importance is called spiritual or worldly, Buddha, doctor, Messiah, teacher, profit, merchant or something else. Always something.
If we want to know the answer and see the whole story, not just a peace here and there, a peace of wisdom from the lips of others, we have to look at ourselves. Within. Each for himself.
When we see the answer, the fear within us, look at it without looking away then it will burn up by itself and vanish.
With fear we will loose our importance. Then we no longer feel we have to prove ourselves. Then we are invisible. And like the old man, we will speak the words that need to be spoken and then go quietly our way. Without a trace.